3rd revelation from kuching

The trek at bako national park was tough! The route through the forest were of different terrain and inclination. I'm sweating and breathing hard. The rocky terrain, steep slope and the slippery grip (plus my heavy backpack) really made me wonder if I could make it... to the beach and back. But what gave me confidence was that many had gone before me and made it! The wooden makeshift stairs (though looked dangerous and unsteady) was made by ppl who had trekked through this route and survived! That means I can do it too. And yes in the end, we all made it, even a 50 over year old aunty who went trekking with us. :-)

At the end of the trek, I felt really happy. Not only did we enjoyed the beach and finished the trek but more so cos I felt God encouraging me through this trek to not give up walking with Him. Yes, walking with Him may not be easy. There are many times I wondered if I could do it and sadly many times i've been dissapointed at myself. I wondered am I really a real christian sometimes- knowing my heart intentions and motives are so far from His, and not desiring to pray and read His Word sometimes. My life seemed to be like a roller coaster, up when inspired, down when not... Well and His answer to me was, look at the many who had gone before you! These ppl who really followed after me- george muller, bill bright, pastor lim ghee tiong, dr joon gon kim, hudson taylor, corrie ten boon, d l moody, they have lived so many years with God and some have already lived through their lives and all have made it, they've lived like real christians, they've lived an abundant life and a life of calling and obedience, a life without regrets, a life that's been greatly used by God. Look at the many who had gone before you, they've walked with Me and allow Me to be God of their lives. Now, the question is no longer if I can be a real and good christian cos I can never be, on my own but whether can I choose to walk with God and let God be God in my life all the days of my life. It is possible cos MANY (some not even published) had gone before me doing so.

So sharon, walk on with Jesus and never give up! :-)

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Revelations from kuching (it's long due!): Be Grateful

As promised, I want to share with you my 2 other revelations from the kuching trip!

Blogger driod has made blogging so much easier! I'm blogging now on the train!

Here goes revelation 1:

要感恩. Be grateful.

10 lepers healed, only 1 went all the way back to thank Jesus. Aloud! He couldn't contain the excitement that is in him! He had leprosy, suffered and now he's healed and cleansed! Can you imagine how happy and grateful he must be? Like wow Wow WOW i'm healed! I'm healed!

Oh how easily I get excited over what amazing things God has done and blessed me with, yet all too easily I forgot and become ungrateful, especially in the midst of storm. Sometimes I get so depressed and upset and forgot that God is still good.

So sharon be grateful! Wow Wow WOW! God is good, God is good! He provided for all my mission trips when i'm not working! He opened my eyes to hear and see how God touched and changed many lives! Rebellion turned obedient, drug addicts were set free. Gangster turned pastor and so so SO much more! He hold the rain when we were giving bibles in thailand! He gave me such good mentor and good friends! He miraculously told me ''I love you sharon, come back to me'' through a stranger when I looked super fine on the outside! He speaks to me! He told me that He'll uphold my right hand when I felt I can't go on anymore! And so much more! Click through the pages of my blog! God's goodness is meant to be shared! It helps me recall, remember and get excited all over again! I wanna share and be grateful always! :-)

Revelation 2:

Hmmm... Too late now, another day perhaps. Good night! :-)

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Insecurities

Dear God, help me to be secure in Your love and not look to the approval of others. Help me to be faithful and obedient, leaving the results to you. Take away my fear o Lord that I may be bold and courageous to obey You. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

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Training In Progress

God is really training me. I have no idea why ever since I graduated from advance dip and started working again, my self esteem has been really low... even till recently. It used to be really high in sec sch, poly, in later part of prev ward and in adv dip. I seemed to be always well loved and approved by others. I seemed to often be given impt roles and coming out with valid and smart ideas. But not now.

Sometimes when i speak, the reactions of people make me feel that i've said sth really dumb. Sometimes ppl more juniour than me could be smarter and more competent at work than me. Most of the time, my brain processor is so slow. Sometimes I feel like i've done a lousy job on stage when I spend majority of my free time preparing. Sometimes when I pray, people don't say amen. Sometimes, ppl doubt my ability and I don't get selected for impt roles. Sometimes, I find myself so easily fall into sin and becoming so unholy in my thoughts and actions than before. Seldom, do I hear ppl praising me now. Have my social circle shrank? Have I changed? Have my creative juices stop flowing? Maybe.

''Be faithful still, be obedient still and live by the approval of Me alone.'' God

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Kuching trip (retrospective entry)

This was long due but was too busy to write. The kuching trip was not only a great leisure, a great rest but also a great spiritual journey. During one prayer meeting at blessed kuching church, God showed me that He is my Daddy! He loved me and would listen to me! He wouldn't give me a stone if I ask for bread or snake if I ask for an egg! Even earthly daddy, knowing evil would give us good things, how much more our heavenly Daddy! A man would still give you bread in the middle of the night if you keep asking, what more Heavenly Daddy,  What is in your heart today? Cry out to Him! 爸爸! 爸爸! 爸爸! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! At that moment I just cried out my heart to Him. I cried for my this patient who I had compassion for. He only came in for backache but he became confused, weak and deteriorated, seemed to have stroke out.  Why? I don't know. Daddy please help him. You are his Daddy too!!! (This patient was well again when i came back from kuching! Praise God!). I cried for myself, for being indifferent, for not listening and obeying God, for walking on my own for too long. I heard this teaching many times. But its the first time I was touched by it. First time I cried over it. Cos at that moment God seemed to speak directly at me. 我是你爸爸, 我爱你, 我喜欢听你说话... I'm your Father, your Daddy, I love you, I delight to hear your voice, tell me your heart, I love to listen to you speak.

It was such an awesome heart to heart talk I had with my Dad that night after a very long while. I want to remember this and be grateful always.

There's 2 more revelations from the trip I want to write but haven't got time now. Next time!

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Weaknesses

Poor memory, lack of focus, public speaking are some very evident weaknesses that sometimes causes me to get into trouble, feel bad or be embarrased about, especially when these weaknesses doesn't benefit others the way I hope to. Subconsciously, I'd defend myself and validate the reason for my poor memory. But after defending myself, I feel even worse cos I know it's bcos I didn't wanted to be vulnerable, I didn't wanted to be lousier than what others have in their mind of me and that's pride, isn't it? These weaknesses somehow become more evident in my life right now. Maybe the people I'm with are so much smarter than me now. Sometimes, I would start wishing... I wish I have better brains, I wish I'm wiser, smarter, cleverer, more talanted...

Then again, no one is perfect and it is because of these imperfections that I depend on God all the more. I believe when God calls me, He'll equip and empower. As how He called Moses, even though Moses is really lousy at public speaking, God reassured him, "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say." (Ex.4:11-12) . Yes, it is You, O Lord, that make me speak, hear and see. I believe my weaknesses reminded me that You, Lord Jesus, Creator of me, my Heavenly Pa Pa, my closest Companion, my King, is and will be all I need. You told Paul, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So that Paul can say, "So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." (2 Cor. 12:9). Likewise for me.

Jesus, thank You for Your grace in my life. There are moments of glory and times when I'm really proud of myself. When I transferred school in p.6 and went to the only school and the only class that has space, I seemed to be so proud of my results in comparison to the rest. I soon realised that that's the last class. When I got a PSLE score of 219, I thought I was rather smart. In secondary school, I remembered recieving the best camper award in a St Johns camp and the following year, a best NCO (though there's only 4 NCO to choose from, I was still kind of proud). And soon I was appointed as the chief executive of YTSS SJAB. I really wondered how I got there. But it was a good experience. Working with my best pal, Zhen Wen (I feel that she got better leadership than I do), we organised trainings, activities, camps and hikes. It was really fun! In fact, many a times, she trained me. I remembered when I had to shout commands and lead contingent for SJ day/NDP. She stayed back to shout with me and even wrote me a card to encourage me. TT. I remembered how I was praised for my formal letter and AGM report. Then when I transferred to NA, I was the top few again. I remebered the composition I wrote was praised and being photocopied and distributed to the class, I remebered I topped geography in one of the class test without studying. I was within the top 10 in N levels with a score of 3 and O levels with a score of 15 (5 subjects) and 17 (6 subjects). Then, I became an officer and trained teams for competitions. I remembered how I got an A for one of the behavoural science modules in polytechnic when I started studying only after my best friend reminded me that there's a test after school. I remembered... the list goes on... O, how I wished I'm still there and always will be there, to feel smart, good and proud. But would I really want to know You and cry out to You when I feel I'm good on my own? Even if I'm gloroius my whole life, it will still end within 70-120 years but a relationship with You will last for eternity. And when I leave this earth, how much more joy will I have when I see You face to face, a God that I already have a relationship with all these while... to have You hold my hand as I depart earth. Beautiful.

Now as I look back, I see Your grace and Your hand in those moments of glory. Though now, I seemed to be the worst and lousiest among the ppl that's around me, I know I'm here as You will. Help me to be humble and learn. And by Your hand and by Your grace, I will continue on in this journey with You as I place my hope and confidence in You alone.

If I boast, let me boast in my God.

Bottles on/in the wall!

I saw this interesting wall at bottle tree park that uses old glass bottles as decorative to the wall. Pretty neat and nice! Forgot to take a photo though. What's more? They have lots of other old stuff that they use to reuse/remake into sth new! Creative heh? =)

Games! Balloons to go!

I thought this game is rather interesting, inspired from everday life.

Team members will each have a paper plate. Each member will have to carry the balloon on their plate like a waiter to and fro and hand over the balloon to the next player without using the other hand to steady the ballon throughout the relay. If he/she does so or drops the ballon, he/she will have to go to the starting line again. Continue until the entire team has completed the race. The first team to complete the relay with all it's members sitting down is the winner.  =)

From lesson 12- The First Family, Game #1

Love your neighbour as yourself!

Jack loved puppies and is excited about getting one. He has been working hard to save and so far, he had $1.63. He went ahead when his mom said OK. When the lady told Jack that each puppy cost $5, Jack face fell. Nevertheless, the lady allowed Jack to play with the puppies. He was having a great time. Their happy faces brought a smile to his.

Out of a sudden, Jack thought of a crippled puppy his mom mentioned. The lady lifted the puppy and handed it to Jack.

Jack was so excited! "This is the one that I want!" Jack exclaimed. "I am going save up and buy him, please don't let anything happen to this puppy." The lady was puzzled.

Why would Jack want a crippled puppy?

Jack pulled out his pants and showed the lady the brace on his leg. His leg was deformed at birth. He said, "I know how the puppy feels. I want to love that puppy. I want to take care of that puppy. I want to make sure the puppy is never scared or worried."

Jack understood, and he was willing to accept and love the puppy. He was ready to truly care for it.

We need to love our familes like that. We're not perfect, so why do we expect our mothers/fathers/brothers/sisters to be perfect?

The lady couldn't resist the love she was sensing decided to give Jack the puppy free!

Summarised and paraphrased from lesson 12- Life story, The Imperfect Puppy.

I'm touched by Jack's love for the crippled puppy. Many a times, we too, are unworthy of God's love but He never fails to love us unconditionally. How can we then not love imperfect others, having been imperfect ourselves too, yet recieving abundant grace and love, being forgiven and loved much by God?

Help to build up your family!

(Mom tries hard to build the word FAMILY with boxes "F","A", "M", "I", "L", "Y", mixing up the alphabets as she goes along.)
Mom is not perfect, like everyone else, mom doesn't know everything and makes lots of mistakes but still, trying her best to build the family.

Son takes time to look at all the mistakes his mom did wrong, arms crossed and complains abt the way mom does things. He doesn't like the way mom talks to him, the way mom acts. He doesn't like the fact that his mom doesn't goes church. It bothers him that she's not like any other mom.

She's trying to build the family but he's not helping. Is his mom perfect? No.

But at least she's trying. What is the son doing to build the family? What is the son doing to help his little brothers and sisters? What is the son doing to encourage his mom? He is not doing anything, not even asking God to help his family! He should be helping instead he is just down on her and makes things worse by disobeying his mom, going places without permission and not telling where he is going. Son is not respecting his mother and he is hurting the family.

We must realise that our parents are not perfect. We must accept our share and do our part to build the family. Our family is what God has given us. We need to take care of it!

You will honor God when you do your best for your family!

Summarised and paraphrased from Lesson 12- The First Family

The lesson that hits me most is not just abt doing my best for the family but how sometimes all of us tend to stand aside and complain abt the imperfect person who is trying his/her best to serve (and most of the time they are the ones serving US). The energy/time/effort spend in complaining can do so much more by praying, encouraging, stand by them, being sensitive and lend a hand when need arises.

UNFAILING LOVE!